One of the best pieces of advice I ever received was from a young skiing instructor who was trying to teach a group of aging snow bunnies how not to kill themselves too quickly on the ski slopes. (They try to discourage killing patrons off before they spend all their money at the ski shop). He said "don't look at trees unless you want to hit them." He explained that when you are skiing, your body basically follows your head. If you lock your eyes on a tree you are afraid of hitting your shoulders will follow the direction of your head and the rest of your body will fall in line with your shoulders (debunking the theory that your body has a mind of its own). Hence, looking at a tree is the best way to meet one up close and personal.

This phenomenon is called many things such as life view, attitude or mind set and applies to many aspects of our life. Frequently it is the things we worry about the most that we make happen. A long time ago when I was a lifeguard, I hated diving. It just didn't seem to me to be the safest way to get in the water. I especially hated back dives because you couldn't see where you were going. My fear was that I would hit the end of the diving board. If you stand on the end of a diving board and fall straight back you will invariably do a back dive. If you do it this way you may not perform the best back dive but it is nearly impossible to hit the end of the board. I was so sure, however, that I would hit the board that I bent so far backwards that my head and arms were nearly under the board. I looked sort of like a backward C. If you dive off the board from this position you will . . . hit the board. Which proved my point that back dives are dangerous. This is what is called a "self-fulfilling prophecy." We do this in many ways in our daily lives. We don't try new things because we are certain that we will fail and then later kick ourselves for not trying. I recently coached a woman who was impeded in a job that as she progressed grew further from what she really wanted. She felt stuck because she didn't have her license even though she had all the qualifications, training and supervision to take the test - she kept putting it off. In less than three months of weekly coaching by phone she set her own goals, took and passed the test, set up a healthier life style, applied for a job that she wanted and was hired on the spot. Coaching is not magic but it helped her to list and prioritize the things that were important to her and follow through.

One of the first computer games I played was one that started off in a prison cell. The objective was to get out of the cell and began with certain objects that you might be able to use. The inclination for most people is to try to use the objects to get out of the cell or, failing that, to give up and say it was impossible. You would be surprised how many people never tried the cell door to see if it was locked. They just assumed that it was. Many people see locked doors in life without even turning the knob.

The way we view situations has a lot to do with how we deal with them. The Chinese character for "crisis" is made up by adding the words "danger" and "opportunity" together. The Chinese outlook in this case implies that in situations of change or transition there is an equal opportunity to lose or achieve something even better. So how is your mindset? Do you see your glass as half full or half empty? They may appear the same, but if I have the choice I'll go with the half full glass because the rest is full of hope.