This trip was spurred by memories I had been having about the feeling I used to get when I camped even if the weather was bad or something unforeseen occurred. Now that I think about it, the challenge of pitting myself against nature was one of the things I liked most about camping. The planning, the, the problem solving, testing my physical capabilities were all things that each camping experience taught me about myself. Everyone finds these challenges in different ways; camping was one of mine.

I had been contemplating a camping trip for some time, but I always pictured myself doing this with a friend or family member. I had never really camped by myself before and I saw it as a team sport. This was a mistake on my part because it delayed an experience that I wanted. A Chinese philosopher once said something like "travel by yourself and you leave today, travel with companions and you wait for them to be ready." Maybe that wasn't a philosopher, just a husband or parent, but you get my meaning. When I heard this was going to be a beautiful weekend with leaves changing and no rain in sight I decided to go. The rest as they say is history. I packed up a tent and camping supplies, picked up some additional provisions on the way and headed for some land we have on the side of a mountain near Luray, Virginia. Traffic prevented me from getting to my old campsite before the sun went down but finding the old site, pitching the tent, starting a fire in the dark were old habits that came back easily. Pretty soon I was set up, fed, andcomfortably reading in bed. Camping by myself was like spending time with an old buddy.

There was another reason behind this pilgrimage for me. Over twenty years ago I climbed the mountain behind my campsite with my little brother who was about 13 at the time. It was one of those unforgettable experiences that end up being much better than you anticipate. I'm not talking a big mountain with ropes, pitons and rappelling. I'm talking about climbing up the side of a mountain with lots of rocks and trees but no trail.

What I remember the most was how good it felt to get to the top and the beautiful view of the Shenandoah River and Valley. I promised myself at the time that I would come back and do it again.

My goal, I told myself then, was to just try it out and see if it was something I really wanted to do. It took me only a short time to realize that there had been some changes since the last time I climbed this mountain. The old me had climbed steadily up the mountain, stopped and rested for a while and then went the rest of the way up. The current me was soon breathing hard and not making it more than a few minutes at a time before I need to stop and catch my breath. It was then I decided I would need a new strategy in order to climb the mountain this time. First of all I told myself that I didn't need to climb the mountain, that I could turn around at any point I wanted and my goal was to see how far I could go.

Then I started to pick out points on the mountain ahead. As I reached each goal I stopped for water, and to catch my breath. Every so often I would find a place where I could see through the trees and get a glimpse of the view further up. Here I would add a chocolate to the regimen. At one point I scared up a beautiful deer. Or more accurately, we scared each other up and quickly reached a mutual understanding to maintain our solitude and admire each other from a distance. In an hour I had progressed to a spot where I could see the top of the mountain and I knew I would reach my goal. Once at the top I rested, called my wife on the cell phone and enjoyed the view. It was still spectacular!

As I started back down the mountain I looked forward to my descent. I figured the hard part was behind me and I could be down the mountain in half the time it took me to climb up. I immediately ran into difficulties I had not anticipated. Finding a path down was harder. Going down seemed much steeper. The back side of the rocks and boulders I used to pull myself up were full of cracks and crevices that were leaf covered traps for my feet. My center of gravity was now higher up on my body. I had felt secure leaning into the mountain going up, but now I felt I would topple down at every step. Rocks and trees that helped me push my way up were now obstacles that got in my way or stopped me abruptly when I jumped down to them. The chatter was back. "This was a stupid idea," "you're too old for this," "You'll break your leg or sprain your ankle and be stuck on the mountain."

This was fast becoming a negative experience that took away from the feelings I had before. I stopped to review my situation and realized that this was the first time I had stopped on the way down. Going down I was not so easily winded and I didn't need to stop to catch my breath. This was an important revelation because I realized that by not stopping, I was also omitting all of the rewards that I had given myself on the way up. I was not creating short attainable goals. I was not taking breaks for water or chocolate or to admire the view. My only goal had become to get down off the mountain in a shorter period of time. I reset my priorities. I realized that I had a better view of where I was going on the way down. I could pick easier routes and look for better views. I gave myself more breaks and allowed myself more time if I wanted. The trail got easier and the chatter was replaced by things I saw or thought that I wanted to share or keep for myself.

Things I learned from my journey:

1. Some times it is important to go alone.

2. Set reasonable and flexible goals for yourself.

3. Stop to admire the view and nurture yourself

4. Give yourself credit for what you achieve.

5. Keep your center of gravity near your base.

6. Don't talk yourself out of things you want.

7. Keep in mind the reasons to achieve your goals.

8. Trust that you will know what you need to do.

9. Reevaluate your strategy during times of change.

10. Take time to appreciate where you are both going up and coming down.