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 Decisions come in all shapes and sizes. Small decisions sometimes have big consequences, but usually small decisions have small consequences. Generally, we don't fret about this kind of decision. Faced with 4 packets of tea, we don't need to spend an hour choosing between Earl Grey and Constant Comment. We don't generally agonize over the little decisions we make every day, and so we don't pay attention to the decision making process that we use every day. It is a skill we often take for granted…
…Until some enormous decision comes our way. All of a sudden there is a choice that looms up like an unexpected ocean wave to a swimmer. There we are, standing chest high in the water before the breakers with strong currents whooshing around our knees getting sucked up into the building wave. If we're not prepared to leap across that big incoming wave — keeping our nose above water while our toes dangle insecurely above the sand where we previously stood solidly braced against the currents — we can see that we'll get clobbered. Pinned to the bottom. Choking on salt water. Sand in our bathing suits. Faced with the same wave, different people employ different techniques. Some try to avoid the wave, leaping sideways. Some stand still, paralyzed with worry. Some dive through to get it over with as fast as possible. Some never get in the water at all, dabbling on the tame edges, a strategy to never encounter the big surf. Some seem to have the grace of sea otters, looking perfectly at home among the waves. How do they do that? Making decisions, like swimming in the ocean, is a skill. Dr. Foster's laws also demonstrate that like learning to float on your back, great decision making is easier than we initially think it will be. We don't need to be controlling, brilliant, or lucky. We do need to be prudent, willing to act, and to recognize the choices with the potential to make something wonderful happen. In other words, you can settle for mediocre choices, or you can decide for something great! Care, action and enthusiasm drive great decisions. Dr. Foster and his research team followed the decisions made by two groups of people from all walks of life for twelve years. Twenty nine men and women who had made more than their share of bad decisions, and thirty four men and women who had made good decisions. On average, each person faced one or two big decisions in a year. During the course of the study, the team witnessed about 750 big decisions to see how they were made and how those decisions ultimately turned out. What they found was that the people who made good decisions followed these guidelines, and the bad decision makers forgot or ignored these intuitive rules. The 30 laws are given in order of importance. And it may come as no surprise (especially to our Life Balance customers) that the first rule to making great decisions is to focus on the most important thing. In other words, to give the full heft and weight to the issue that is at the heart of the matter. Given a long list of pros and cons, it is easy to start thinking of those pros and cons as having the same importance. In fact, we make better decisions when we let the 500 pound gorilla have his say. The second most important rule is not to decide until you are ready. This one may come as a surprise. We think we have to act quickly in this push and shove era of cell phones and email. But patience is a virtue. If we aren't ready, there may be work left to be done in collecting information in order to get ready. This is different from dithering, where you are not discovering anything new, but are procrastinating over action. The third most important law is that decisions that lie dormant in the background of your life may be smolderingly important. Some decisions are heaved into your lap, and some are deferrable. Close examination of those way too easy to put off decisions may be key in offering up a better happier life. Many of the other laws resonate with a similarly familiar ring. We know in our bones that these are the questions we need to ask ourselves when we have a difficult choice to make. In addition to chapters covering the 30 laws, there are also chapters offering perspectives on the top ten life decisions, knowing your priorities, and knowing when you've made a great choice. Having these guidelines written down in one place is like knowing there is a life guard on the beach. In this sink or swim world, that's comforting indeed. |
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